Hopeful in the new year…

Hopeful in the new year…

Last year was the most difficult of my life. My mother passed away and I was unknowingly on my way out of this world right behind her. I looked on with teary eyes and a broken heart as my entire world crumbled before me. I didn’t know it at the time but I gave up on trying to heal. I gave up on living and loving what and who was important to me. Living was painful. Hell, breathing was painful and I struggled through it.  
The hurt was unbearable at times. It still is…but I’m hopeful in the new year not to let the pain consume me. It’s been nine months but I swear I feel like my mom’s death just happened yesterday. This pain…I would wish on anyone. This pain slowly chokes the life out of you until you wonder why you’re fighting trying to fight against it. That’s really how bad it was and still is…but I know my mommy wouldn’t be happy with hope rocky my faith is now and how deep I allowed to her death consume me.

So for her and myself, I’m attempting to take a new approach to living with the pain. I’ll never be okay again but I want to learn to live again …crush my goals again and smile genuinely again…for both my mommy and me. I’m hopeful in the year 2022 that I can learn to return to the life my mom scarified much of her life for me to achieve 🖤🙏🏽♥️

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